Scalped in Botswana

We knew we'd enjoy our time in Botswana as soon as we entered the Immigration Office at the border. Two smiley and excessively happy officers shouted out welcomes and complimented all the male members of our group on their 'handsomeness', 'youthfulness' and 'beauty': ).  At a Foot & Mouth checkpoint soon after the border crossing, another Botswanan official was very excited to inspect our Eskys and find we had vast quantities of his favorite beer - Windhoek.

After the crew became slightly lost, we were forced to camp the night on a farmer's small holding.  At 4am Andy was awoken by a huge fart and some rustling in the bushes.  He opened the tent to investigate and found himself nose to nose with a huge steer with 2 foot horns.  'Falcon' and Laura had a similar experience.  After cowering in his mosquito net for a few minutes, he got out and shooed the cattle down the road.  Dan awoke to the sight of his flip-flop being chewed by a very large cow.  Both were startled.  Dan shouted and the cow dropped his flip-flop and catching a horn on the net as it tried to back away.

From the bush-camp we drove for a morning to get to Maun, one of Botswana's main towns. We had a rare opportunity to spend a few hours catching up on emails and admin (snack-shopping). Andy decided to get a much-needed haircut. One of our truck buddies, Jane, is a barber and has been cutting people's hair at the bargain price of one can of beer. But a local 'barber' (with his own barber shack) sweet-talked Andy into letting him do the honours. Unfortunately, while one of the barber's mates distracted me with offerings of the local booze (a disgusting maize alcohol concoction called Shake Shake) the barber sheared Andy's head with a zero blade. NOT a good look.

Dodgy barber shop

He's smilin' now...

I stuck at hat on Andy's frighteningly white head and we headed out of town to our campsite and booked our activities for the next couple of days - a 2 night mokoro safari into the Okavango Delta  (mokoros are traditional dug out canoes) and a scenic flight over the Delta in a 5-seater Cessna plane.

The canoe safari was something we'd really been looking forward to and we weren't disappointed. We were accompanied by a group of local people who acted as our guides / polers. Andy and I were  led by Lizzie - surprisingly strong for her advanced age and, we quickly learnt, as fond of Savanna as I am (we always manage to organise a very well-packed Esky of ice cold beers and cider wherever we go - benefit of having an Aussie for a group leader).

Being out in the Delta was totally serene - nothing but us, calm waters and big skies.  We made up camp under a huge tree  on one of the islands and over the two days did several bush walks, spotting elephant, antelope, zebra and warthog. On one walk Andy convinced himself we were all going to get trampled by an elephant but, thankfully, we all managed to escape alive.

The highlight of the Delta trip was a sunset mokoro ride out to the hippo ponds, where we were lucky enough to get pretty close to one hippo (I wouldn't have wanted to get much closer in a flimsy canoe) as an amazing sunset unfolded around us. Back at camp the guides performed a series of local songs for us, in amazing harmony with great ease. It was pretty embarrassing when all our group of 23 could muster in response was a few rounds of the hokey kokey, a bit of YMCA and a  pathetic rendition of '500 Miles' (we quickly realised we didn't know the words). We have been working on a repertoire since...

The Cessna flight on our last evening in Maun was  one of the coolest things I've ever done. Flying low over the Delta at hair-raising angles to spot herds of 50+ elephants, giraffe, buffalo, hippo, eagles and impala. Our pilot was 21 (but looked about 14), which added to the fear / adrenaline factor. We saw more animals in that 45 min flight than we'd seen all trip.

From Maun we headed to Chobe National Park, stopping on route to admire a massive concrete aardvark  (!?) on the side of the road and to bush-camp amongst cows and elephants (there's no escaping elephant poo on this trip).

Throwing Zebra poo at 'Falcon'

In Chobe we all went on a sunset river cruise. Andi, our group leader, must have told us about 12 times that it was "NOT a booze cruise" but we still managed to get our full Esky on board.  It was the best activity we've done to date. Three hours on the river getting close to over 15 hippo, 50 elephants, crocs, buffalo, monitor lizards, kudu, baboon, bee eaters, fish eagles etc. Watching elephant families bathe in the waters, throw mud at themselves and have a leisurely drink was really special and everyone on the boat couldn't stop smiling as the sun set around us.

We are really getting into the swing of truck life now. There is always a task you can help out with; cleaning, filling jerry cans and lighting fires etc. Andy particular likes finding fire wood and is a bit too fond of the truck's axe supply and gets his hands on one at every opportunity! We have a truck running club, poetry book and are enjoying our cook group duties. The group is split into 8 cook groups of 3, so once a week we have to plan, shop and prepare 3 meals for 26 people.

Leaving Botswana behind we headed to Zimbabwe to become trillionaires...

Close Encounters: Seals, Cheetahs, Snakes, Scorpions & Lion

Loaded up with 50 cases of beer, 8 cases of cider,  50 litres of wine and a massive pile of biltong, we drove north out of Swakopmund toward Cape Cross seal colony, bush camping overnight on a desert gravel plain.  Freezing fog from the Atlantic enveloped our camp soon after sundown and remained overnight.  It was so dense that Lee (a fellow passenger) became hopelessly lost for over an hour after he wandered off for an early morning cat scrape.

An hour's drive through the mist the next morning and we hit Cape Cross, home to a 500 year old stone cross erected by Portuguese navigator, Dias on his famous voyage to India around the Cape of Good Hope...oh and about 100,000 seals.  Fortunately the prevailing wind meant that we were spared the usual stench as we wandered amongst the thousands of seals along purpose-built viewing platforms.  It was a fantastic experience watching the seals; playing, fighting, growling, sleeping, suckling.  The cubs were particularly cute, the mothers bossy and grumpy, and the bulls fat, lazy and territorial.  A great experience.

From Cape Cross we headed inland toward Spitzkoppe.  Just in from the coast we drove out of the fog into bright sunshine.  The temperature changing by about 20C in a matter of minutes.  Such is the Namibian desert.  The fleeces and woollies came off, and the canvas sides of the truck were rolled up.

Spitzkoppe is a small but starkly beautiful red granite mountain range which just from the savanna.  We camped at the base of one of the hills, surrounded by huge boulders and other magnificent rock formations.  In the afternoon we joined a foot safari with "Richie", a local Damara guide, who explained the local flora, fauna and geology, and led us to some local San rock paintings of bushmen and animals.  Of note he explained that we were in snake country.  This played quite heavily on Zoe's mind, so when she saw an ant highway on a bush track she asked our guide, quite innocently (if not a little thoughtlessly), "Is that a snake?".  At this, both the guide and I leapt; "Richie" running a few strides before realising it was a false alarm.
On our way back to camp, while we were admiring the Dassies and the sunset, I quietly explained to Zoe that the work "snake" in the bush had the same effect as the word "bomb" on an aircraft.  Several minutes later she turned to me and said, quite calmly, "Watch the snake.".  To my left and in front I saw another ant highway.  At this I started to remonstrate with Zoe who abruptly interrupted the lecture by saying "No, you idiot!  Look right!".  And there it was, six inches from my right boot lay a venomous Horned Adder.  The sounds crickets and birds in the serene Namibian sunset was shattered by a single, very loud word that rhymes with "firetruck".  Thankfully, as "Richie" later explained, Horned Adders are a bit lazy so it couldn't be arsed to have a go.

Returning to the truck, we discovered that our encounter was not unique, nor was it as scary as that of Lee who, emerging from the savanna onto a track looked down at the right moment to see a Black Spitting Cobra rearing up and hissing.  Close call.  A local guide told us afterwards that Lee would have had no chance of survival if it had struck.

Aside from the Emperor Scorpion in the long drop (which I kept at bay with my head lamp whilst I hurried my evening constitutional), it was entirely safe at Spitzkoppe.

From Spitzkoppe we went to Brandberg and toured the canyon - the cave paintings were far superior to those in Spitzkoppe and included the famous "White Lady" - a Hellenistic style figure of impressive detail for stone age artists.

After a bush camp at Brandberg and the inaugural critter racing championships we headed on to Otjitotongwe Cheetah Park.  This, among tough competition, was a highlight of our trip so far.  The park is a privately run operation on a working cattle station.  There are 17 cheetahs which have been trapped by local farmers and donated to the park, and another 3 which have been bred in captivity (quite a feat, apparently).  The farm is run by an Afrikaans family and, hence, struggles with being self funded and the massive red tape which white farmers and tourism operators have to contend with.  The government has recently refused to issue further permits for any more animals, so the local farmers, with no reasonable alternative, simply shoot cheetahs found on their property.

Anyhow, we spent the afternoon petting the tame cheetahs (where the 'grumpy' one singled me out to lick with her sandpaper tongue) then watched the feeding of the non-tame ones from the safety of the tray of a bakkies.  In the evening we did our best to save the cheetahs by drinking the bar dry.

Etosha, Namibia's premier game park, was our next destination.  There were plenty of giraffe, zebra, antelope, ostrich and wildebeest etc to view.  We did see elephant and rhino at a distance but the definite highlight was a close encounter with an adolescent lioness.  We didn't have a tremendous amount of luck as recent heavy rains meant the animals could survive without having to congregate at waterholes.

Leaving Etosha, we bush-camped over two nights on either side of the Botswanan border on our way to the Okavango Delta.

Namibia did not let us down.  Zoe and I really enjoyed our two weeks there.  The natural beauty is incredible.  And it was made all the more enjoyable by the easy going nature of our crew and fellow passengers on the truck.

22 Tonnes of Yellow Truck

After months of planning and anticipation it was finally time to join our Oasis tour group and start our 16 week journey up to Cairo!

A quick welcome meeting with our tour leader, Andi, and driver, Grant (Hasty), and we knew we were going to be in very safe hands. Super friendly, knowledgeable and relaxed, we found out this would be their 7th trip around Africa with Oasis and their last before they settled back into reality and life back in New Zealand.

13 of us joined the tour in Cape Town, with 11 others remaining from the 40 week trans-Africa tour that had started in Gibraltar last November. With an age range of 19-62, and a mix of nationalities (English, Irish, Aussies, Kiwis, Canucks, Yanks, Dutch & German) we felt really lucky at the variety of people on and have thoroughly enjoyed getting to know everyone over the last 10 days (and nothing brings you closer to people than seeing each other pee several times a day).

From Cape Town we headed to Stellenbosch for a day of winery-fun. We visited 4 wineries, sampled a ridiculous number of wines and ate an equally-ridiculous amount of cheese. After a rainy start, a sunny afternoon meant we got to see the region in all its glory.







A night of camping and two bush camps followed when we quickly realised that going hungry is something we never have to fear on this trip! The quality of the camping meals is excellent - a bit too good when mixed with the availability of inexpensive, and good quality, local wines & beer! We no longer have any hopes of coming home lighter and leaner. It's amazing what you can cook on a fire, in the middle of nowhere during a ferocious lightning storm!









We crossed the border into Namibia on the 1st and were greeted by a dust storm as we pitched beside the Orange River. Having survived the storm we had several long drive days to take us via Fish River Canyon up to Sossesvlei, the famous Namibian dunes.








The drive days aren't as painful as we imagined, as with 24 of you in the back of a truck people find pretty inventive ways to entertain themselves.



After Sossesvlei we crossed the Tropic of Capricorn and drove up to Swakopmund, a coastal town and haven for adventure-seekers. We both had an awesome time squadbiking, which was terrifying but utterly thrilling. One positive result of the crappy rain was that the dune sands were more compact than usual which meant we could go faster and higher on them - and that we did!



I went fishing offshore and landed about 40 seabass. 120 were landed in 2 hours. Not a bad effort for 4 blokes.








Swak let us live it up a bit after a week in the bush. The 2kg rib challenge and karaoke were a must.









Today, we leave Swakopmund and head north to a seal colony and a few more nights of bushcamping before hitting Etosha National Park. The weather forecast predicts 30 and sunny so we're keeping fingers and toes crossed...

Location:Swakopmund,Namibia

Avocado, Ostrich & Steak

Plettenberg Bay, a short drive from Blaukran's Bridge, was our first stop in the Western Cape.  Arriving late in the afternoon, we headed to the beach front for a sundowner before yet another lovely dinner of fish and prawns at a deck overlooking the point.  Despite Plett being a playground for the rich, the casual antipodean attitude meant that we weren't too out of place in our shorts and flip flops.

Robberg Peninsula

The next day we headed to Robberg Peninsula for a hike.  Robberg is a national park with a 9km trail winding around cliff faces, secluded beaches, rock pools with powerful surging surf and across enormous sand dunes.  Within a mile or so our nostrils were struck by an incredible stench that even I could not have conjured.  Beneath the cliff on which we walked, hundreds of seals barked, frolicked, fought, surfed and basked in the beautiful, clear waves.  Robberg was more beautiful than we'd expected but the going was much tougher.  As we rounded the point we had one of those 'I thought you...but I thought you...' style discussions as we realised we'd packed a grand total of 300ml of water for a tough three hour hike in 30C heat.  Error. We were bloody thirsty by the time we completed the hike but it was well worth it.  The only thing more exhausting was the debacle which followed with the internet.

Climbing a sand dune at Robberg

Up until this point we'd experienced internet performance which took us back 10 years or more.  We were certain that, being a playground for the rich, Plett would deliver so we were determined to publish our first posting before we left.  One hour and twenty five minutes, a lot of swearing and R112 (£10) later our first blog post was published.  Carrier pigeon would be more productive than using the internet in some parts of South Africa.

The following morning I joined a dive off a rock wall on Beacon Island while Zoe went sea kayaking in search of seals, dolphins and whales.  The day before there'd been a 200 strong dolphin in the bay.  Unfortunately, Zoe saw nothing and came back with a dose of sunstroke and seasickness.  I had a bit more luck, sighting some stingrays, large crabs, beautiful soft coral, starfish and large reef fish. On the downside the water temp was 12C, was rough and murky, with 5M visibility.  Egypt still wins hands down.

We stopped for lunch at Knysna on our way to Oudtshoorn to munch on some avocado that we had bought from a roadside vendor a week earlier;  four of the biggest avocados I'd ever seen for a grand total of R10 (90p).  It'd finally ripened and was absolutely delish!  So delish, in fact, that Zoe almost cut her tongue off when she tried to lick a morsel from the blade of her Swiss Army knife.  I, typically, had a minor cardio and Zoe is no longer allowed to lick the blade.  Anyhow, we were parked up in Knysna and I spotted a pub with Northern Transvaal Bulls rugby supporters flags adorning the windows and so was happy to get to watch the Reds defeat of the Waratahs which just so happened to be on at the time.

From Knysna we continued through to George and then crossed the coastal mountain range into the starkly desolate Klein Karoo.  Arriving in Oudtshoorn in the mid afternoon, we checked into our guest house, a lovely 1920s colonial style stone white washed farm house on the edge of town.  It was hot and dry so we spent the remainder of the afternoon relaxing by the little plunge pool, Zoe swinging in a hammock.  Of all the places we've stayed, this was our favourite.  Oudtshoorn is ostrich country.  You want something made of Ostrich, to do something Ostrich themed?  No problem.  So the next morning we went to Cango Ostrich Farm where Zoe was volunteered to ride an ostrich.  It was surprising how fast they run and it came as a bit of a shock to her.  It was a lot of fun : )

Another long drive followed as we headed further west across the beautiful arid countryside, through small, lovingly cared-for wine producing dorps like Calitzdorp and Barrydale.  Our destination was Stanford, yet another beautiful rural town about 20km from Hermanus.  We did a mini pub crawl - there being two pubs - and dined out on yet another amazing meal.  The best steaks either of us had ever eaten - dinner for two with beer, wine, starters and mains? R250 (£22).  Bargain.

Route 62 in the Little Karoo: How to attract customers to your rural pub

Stanford

On our way to Cape Town we stopped in Hermanus and then Stony Point to visit the Jackass Penguin colony.  They're sociable, funny and docile little fellas, so there were plenty of up close photo opportunities.  Our first night in CT we stayed in a human Jackass colony - Camps Bay.  Undeniably attractive, out of all the places we've experienced on this trip this was our least favourite and the most expensive by a long way.  Oh well.

Penguins at Stony Point

Zoe writing her journal at Camps Bay

The next day we met Barry & Claire, friends of mine from CT, and our friend, Sgt. Steve from London, for lunch at the Waterfront.  We spent the next few nights with Claire & Baz who were house & dog sitting at Constantia - a super affluent area of Cape Town.  Zoe had a ball with Hooch the Bull Mastiff, Georgie the slightly pervy miniature Daschund and Zola the sheep dog.  Great stuff.  As with our other South African hosts, Claire & Baz were very welcoming.  Fortunately and coincidentally they'd taken the week off work, so they took us for a tour around  Simon's Town, Fishhoek, Kommejtie, Hout Bay, as well as Forrester's pub at Newlands and the amazing Kirstenbosch botanical gardens.  On our final evening before meeting the Oasis truck, they put on a delicious  Braai - just to remind us of the culinary heaven we were departing.

Seal in the harbour at Hout Bay

Our hosts, Barry and Claire, at Hout Bay

Braai time with Baz and Steve

Meat